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Anna Oxenberry

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Types of Supervision: Clinical Supervision for Counsellors

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In the arena of Professional Supervision, I function in two types of supervision. Clinical Supervision and Pastoral Supervision.

In this blog I’m going to briefly introduce clinical supervision.

The term ‘Clinical Supervision’ refers to conducting professional supervision with practitioners who work in a clinical space. Generally, the term clinical refers to practitioners such as counsellors, social workers, psychologists, support workers or those working in the allied health profession.

The Psychotherapy and Counsellors Federation of Australia (PACFA) says that “Clinical supervision is a contractual, collaborative process which monitors, develops and supports supervisees in their clinical role.” – PACFA Clinical Supervision Standard

“Supervision is a joint endeavour in which a practitioner, with the help of a supervisor, attends to their clients, themselves as part of their client-practitioner relationships and the wider systemic and ecological contexts, and by so doing improves the quality of their work, transforms their client relationships, continuously develops themselves, their practice and the wider profession.” Hawkins and McMahon, (2020, p. 66)

As a qualified and experienced counsellor, I am accredited and trained to work in a clinical space with counselling practitioners. I have been practicing as a counsellor since 2013.

Registered counselling practitioners in Australia may be a member of a Counselling association (for example PACFA or ACA). The counselling association has specific supervision requirements to maintain their professional membership. For example, it may be a minimum of 10 hours of supervision per year. *

*Always check with your professional board or association for specific requirements regarding professional supervision in your specific situation.

To read more about supervision, see other blogs from this supervision series.

Or maybe you’re thinking “I’m a counsellor and I need a supervisor”, reach out and contact me for an appointment.

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What is Professional Supervision?

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Professional Supervision is a collaborative and professional relationship formed between supervisor and supervisee for the purposes of supporting the supervisee in their interactions with clients, families, students, parishioners or anyone they help in their work role.

“Supervision is working with someone who is as interested and concerned about your life and work as you are.”- Joan Wilmot

“Supervision interrupts practice. It wakes us up to what we are doing. It acts as an irritant interrupting comfort stories of our practice and facilitating the creation of new stories.” – Sheila Ryan

Supervision provides a safe space for a practitioner to reflect on their practice. It’s a space to help them have super-vision, to see things more clearly. When they have supervision, that can be the best for those they work with and serve.

Professional Supervision is for anyone in any job. Some industries have requirements for professional supervision, others do not. Usually, the supervisee chooses to work with a supervisor who has specific experience in their specific field of employment or career.

To find out more about supervision, read more blogs from the supervision blog series.

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How to recover from burnout.

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I often get asked questions like:

1. Will I ever fully recover from burnout?

2. What does it take to recover from burnout?

3. How long will it take to recover from burnout?

My normal answer is: 

1. Yes.

2. A lot of hard work. Reviewing what’s important to you, setting boundaries, increasing self-compassion and self-care… among many other things.

3. It’s different for everyone.

There is no quick 3 step process to recovering from burnout and it really is different for everyone because everyone is different, everyone’s experience of burnout is different and everyone has different needs.

But here’s something more…

I am currently reading ‘Burnout: A guide to identifying burnout and pathways to recovery’ by Gordon Parker, Gabriela Tavella and Kerrie Eyers. I’m still in the early stages of the book, but I couldn’t go past this quote and I think it answers question number 2.


Parker et al. says,

“…management of burnout not only involves reducing stressors and their impact but also requires addressing any predisposing personality contribution (especially perfectionism). Escape from work or caregiving pressures may relieve some of the burnout symptoms, but failure to identify and modulate any personality contribution will not allow burnout to be so readily managed, while also increasing the risk of relapse.”

 

In a nut shell…. this means that if you don’t have therapy alongside the reduction of stressors, you will likely relapse.

Let’s get really honest for a second… you will relapse*… even if you have therapy and seek professional support. Part of the recovery of burnout is a journey. There are highs and lows as you get to know yourself, discover what got you to burnout in the first place and learn new skills and knowledge to know what to do about it (and hopefully prevent it from happening again).

I’m about 6 years free of burnout now and it never ceases to amaze me at how sneaky burnout can be. It really does sneak up on you and that’s why I’m so passionate about helping people to learn that this journey to wholeheartedness is a lifelong journey. We don’t recover from burnout and say ‘yes, I’ve arrived and now I don’t have to think about any of it ever again!’ It’s just not like that.

Many of the behaviours and beliefs we had before burnout (some that also led us to burnout) are behaviours and beliefs that have kept us safe at various times in our life. This means that they will be very hard to break. For example, I, as a people pleaser (in recovery), learned in my young years that if people around me were happy, then life was smoother… therefore – people pleasing behaviours are still a go-to for me in several areas of my life.

 

So… all that to say, that I love this quote from Burnout, because it reiterates the importance of (what we call in the counselling world) ‘doing your work’. Looking at your life, where you’ve come from, what you’ve experienced, your highs and your lows and all the lessons learned along the way.

This is why I often say that seeing a counsellor during burnout recovery is vital. He/she will not only help you to make practical changes but can also help you to look at what led you to burnout in the first place… not only the situational, environmental and circumstantial reasons but also the personality traits.

Something I learned in my burnout recovery is how much my personality trait of being a people pleaser was setting me up to get burnt out from a very young age. This is not to say it was my fault – or the fault of my environment and family and community upbringing – but it was simply learning that there are some personality traits that some people have that will feed into having a higher chance of getting burnt out in the first place.

I see the trait of people pleasing a lot in people who are experiencing or have experienced burnout. Those who have people pleasing tendencies seem to want to help others no matter the cost. Often, this belief has been learned somewhere in their early years and tells them that if they help others and do whatever is necessary, then they will be liked, maybe even loved more.

 

The other key personality trait is perfectionism. 

“Perfectionistic people have high standards, are self-disciplined and yoke themselves tightly to self-control and commitment to ensure productivity and achievement.” – Parker et al.

You see, perfectionism isn’t just about doing things perfectly and going over something time and time again to ensure it is perfect. It’s about the meaning behind the perfect actions. 

Brené Brown in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection discusses that “wherever perfectionism exists, shame is lurking.” Shame is the belief that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging, and so perfectionism isn’t just about doing things perfectly, it’s the belief that if we do it perfectly then we are worthy of love and belonging… or, then we will get the promotion… or, then they will love us etc.

These kinds of personality traits may lead us to work long hours, not be honest in asking for what we need, not setting the boundaries we need etc. These are common factors that can start to lead someone to burnout. Maybe you can now see how personality traits connect to burnout and also why understanding and working towards overcoming (or managing) these personality traits will help with your burnout recovery.

I hope that’s been helpful.

Let me know if you have any questions. If anything has been triggered for you in this blog, please reach out and book a session to start (or continue) exploring how you can recover from burnout.

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Give up and take up

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Self-care is about looking after yourself in all areas of your life – physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, professionally and intellectually – and that’s way easier said than done. Because, for example, to look after ourselves socially, we have to start setting boundaries and learning to say no. If we’re going to choose to look after ourselves physically that might mean giving up some of our favourite food, or looking after ourselves intellectually (i.e. our brain health), might mean giving up screen time.

At the same time looking after yourself spiritually might mean taking up regular walks in nature or time reading the Bible if that’s what gives you life and makes you feel close to God. Or looking after yourself professionally might mean taking up a job that feels more true to who you are or more exciting to you.

Self-care is learning the balance of things to give up and things to take up. Give up the things that drain you and take up the things that give you life, energy and joy!

  • What do you need or want to give up that is draining you in your life at the moment?
  • What do you want to take up that you feel or know will be life-giving for you?
  • Who can you share your answers with? Go ahead and share it.

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The COVID Tales

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Saturday night 18th June 2021 was a super special night for me and many SA businesses and something I’m very proud to share with you.

We all know the challenge and let’s be honest (complete weirdness) that 2020 and the COVID-19 season was/is… especially for businesses.

In the midst of the COVID-19 initial lockdowns photographer Rachel Sharp from The Little Oak Studio decided she wanted to record this time in history and the impact that COVID-19 had on SA Businesses.

So she did. She embarked on a mammoth heart project of creating The Covid Tales. This is a book full of photos and stories of SA businesses and how Covid-19 made its mark.

I had the privilege of being able to share my story along with 95 other SA Businesses!!

Saturday night was the book launch and celebration! We had a great time of hearing stories and honouring both Rachel and her team but also each other.

To see more photos and read Journeez story have a look at Journeez Instagram.

I am very grateful for Rachel and for her heart, authenticity and determination to produce this… I personally think she should have a well-earned rest!

And something else… this is super cool – there is going to be a copy at the SA State Library! So if you’re interested in checking it out, that’s where you can see a copy!

This is definitely a moment in history that is now marked with a great book of photos and stories. One that will be treasured for many many years to come.

Take care on this COVID journey!

Give credit - Photo by Brian Mann on Unsplash

Incongruent living is exhausting

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“Incongruent living is exhausting.” – Brené Brown

As I’ve been reading ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ by Brené Brown recently, I was led to reflect on this quote. Here are some brief thoughts:

I call myself a people-pleaser-in-recovery! Maybe that’s why I resonate with this quote. For so many years I lived each day subconsciously making choices and doing things that I thought others would approve of and at the absolute depths, would make them like me more. Phew! That is exhausting… even as I write that, I notice myself take a deep breath.

Several years ago, when I was teaching the Diploma of Counselling, I had to teach this idea of being congruent and incongruent and it became one of my favourite buzz words at the time.

Basically:
To be congruent is to be in agreement with or in harmony with.
To be incongruent is to be in conflict with.

So when Brené says “Incongruent living is exhausting”, she’s talking about the fact that when we are living against our authentic selves (or in conflict with ourselves) it is much harder and more draining to do life.

That’s definitely the case for me. Plus I’m usually much more grumpy and hard to be around when I’m being incongruent.

Maybe you can take notice of whether your exhaustion is connected to you feeling like you have to be someone else to function in this world.

Take care on the journey as you dwell on this idea.

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Hope for 2021

How great is today?! A new year! A fresh page! I feel a sense of excitement and anticipation about what will be written on this new page! This new year! This new day! 

A date is just a date… and yet we give it so much meaning, heck, I’m all for new…

New hour

New day

New experiences

New relationships

New adventures

and yes, even a New Year!

There’s something that happens when the calendar flicks over… and yet deep down isn’t it really just like any other new day?

The sun still sets and rises – does the sun know that it’s a new year or does it see new opportunities at the turn of each day, not knowing or giving any power to the calendar date?

I wonder how it’d feel if we took the pressure off?… especially the pressure off of 2021!

I feel like there is a lot of pressure on 2021 being great. better. Better at least than 2020, which let’s be honest, most of us would say that wouldn’t be hard to beat.

I wonder how differently we would live our 2021 if we took the pressure off and saw each day as a new opportunity? A new day? To set new goals? To see new hope? To embrace it for what it is?

Would it change your view of 2021?

Maybe the pressure for 2021 to be way better than 2020 is helpful for you.

Pressure and newness are interesting concepts.

Sometimes the newness gives us new hope and yet we can have that hope each day. Thanks to God for that. Imagine if we had to wait for another 365 days before we could have hope again, when the calendar clicks over to 1st Jan 2022. I’m glad we can have new hope each day, each hour, each minute and each moment.

And then there’s pressure. 

For some, pressure helps to get stuff done. Some people work better under pressure – maybe with a time pressure – but I’m not convinced any one’s heart and emotions work better under pressure to perform, to be better, so that… I don’t know… So that…

You get a pay rise

You get married

You have kids

You buy the house

You win the contract

Your kids don’t fight

God will love you more

Others will love you more…

That’s a lot of pressure… a lot of pressure to put on a year and let’s face it, we’re not actually putting that pressure on 2021 itself, are we?

We are putting that pressure on ourselves, our loved ones, our colleagues, our neighbours in 2021.

As the calendar has clicked over into 2021, let’s look for hope in each day – not in the year as a whole (for if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we don’t know what will happen from day to day), but instead in each day, each hour, each minute and each moment. As we find hope in each moment, we will get to the end of 2021 and see all the times we saw and experienced hope.

If 2021 comes with great anticipation and expectation, let’s hold those expectations loosely and instead, let’s see 2021 as the year to see each day for what it brings, and the hope we can find in each moment.

Happy New Year!

Courage is a heart word.

You are enough… whether things go well or not.

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“You are not defined by the outcome of the situation.”

I was just having a forum conversation with some fellow business women and I was reminded of my authenticity mantra.

Brené Brown talks about the importance of developing an authenticity mantra so that when we feel threatened, in shame, out of our depth, judged, worried or overwhelmed about something, we can say our mantra to help us stay in our authenticity instead of bowing to the wants, needs and desires of others.

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My authenticity mantra came out of a situation I was in back in 2011 when I was helping to plan a conference. My job was to book the band for the mid week social event. I decided to book my cousins band who fit the specifications of the night. However, as they were setting up and doing a sound check, I started to get nervous and worried about how loud they were going to be and I was scared about what people would think about the choice I made. As I sat there, listening to their sound check, these worries were very loud in my mind and amongst the thoughts, a still small whisper pierced through and simply said “You are not defined by the outcome of this situation.” – Wow! What did you say? 

“You are not defined by whether people think the band is good, or bad or too loud or not loud enough. You are not defined by the outcome of this situation.”
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And there it was, I began to sit back and relax into the evening. For that moment I was free and didn’t let the negative self-talk get to me.

Now, I know that not everyone will have an experience like this to help them come up with their authenticity mantra, but you can still come up with one anyway.

You can use mine to get you started if you like.

Brené Brown’s authenticity mantra is: 

“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Just stay on your sacred ground.”

Others have said: “I am enough, I am enough” or “I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.”

It doesn’t have to be anything super wordy and creative, it’s about what makes sense for you and your truth.

Whatever you’re going through right now, I want you to know that you are not defined by the outcome of the situation. 

Whether it goes well, you are not defined by your success. Whether it goes bad, you are not defined by your failure.

You are enough, right now, exactly as you are.

Be strong. Stand your sacred ground.


Take Care on the Journey!

If this is something you would like to know more about and maybe dig into further by seeing a female counsellor in Adelaide, contact us for a counselling session today and explore more of how Brene Brown’s concepts can work in your life.

Happy New Year

6 lessons learned from climbing Mt Lofty

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On the 31st December 2019 I achieved a goal that I had set for 2018… yes you’re reading that correctly. The goal I achieved was to climb Mt Lofty in Adelaide SA. It’s classified as a Hard Hike and is 7.8km return; up and down very steep terrain. Many people do this hike, it’s a tourist attraction and some people use it for fitness! Anyone who has climbed Mt Lofty knows the challenge that it is… especially if you don’t usually do that kind of walking/hiking. 

Here are 6 things that I learned from my Mt Lofty hike:

  1. Be kind to yourself if you don’t achieve your goal in the exact time frame… simply reflect and move the measuring stick and set a new goal. 
  2. The cliché is that life is about the journey not the destination. Well that’s what I kept telling myself on the way up to Mt Lofty because there were many many many times when all I wanted to do was turn around and walk back down before getting to the top. I learned a lot on my walk so I would agree that it was about the journey, not so much the destination. As much as I like enjoying a reward after something hard, that’s not always possible and it’s good for us to re-learn that we don’t always have to get a reward. Achieving the goal is the reward itself. 
  3. Remember not to compare someone else’s highlight reel against your challenges. I thought about how annoying it was when I was walking in pain going up and saw lots of people coming down with smiles on their face, laughing and having a good time. It’s easy to think “why do they have it so easy when I’ve got it hard”. But the truth is that most of them have done the hard yards of walking up as well. (I say most because let’s face it, some people may have been dropped off at the top just to walk down… and most of us would know people who have had an easy run at life too). 
  4. Keep focused on your path. There were a couple times when I was looking around at the view and with the strenuous nature of the walk, it meant I got off balance a couple times. The lesson was to keep focused on where you’re going in life and on the walk. When you look around too much you get wobbly and can fall off the track. When you look around at what others are doing or where others are on their journey, it makes you question the lane you’re in and the path you’re taking. We can only take our own path, we can’t take someone else’s path. Keep focused and try not to compare yourself and your path to others. 
  5. Stop every once in a while and look back and celebrate how far you’ve come. There were many many many times that I had to stop (mainly due to being puffed!! ), but as I stopped I looked back and began to reflect on how far I had come and it encouraged me to keep going. No matter how hard the rest of the journey is, the facts are that you’ve gotten this far so who’s to say you can’t get through any other challenges that come?
  6. Near the end and at several times throughout the journey, it’s easy to let negative thoughts convince you that it’s too hard, you can’t go any further, you can’t do this anymore. And yet you totally can. Yes you can. You’ve come so far, don’t let the negative thoughts take hold. Counteract them with the positive. You can do it. You’ve come so far. Keep going. This (pain) too shall pass. 

️So there you go. There are my 6 lessons from walking Mt Lofty. 

Another year has clicked over and we have the opportunity to start fresh. To reflect on where we are and where we want to go. To look at what’s working and what’s not working for us. 

  • What goals are you hoping to achieve this year?
  • What are you proud of from 2019?
  • What do you want to do differently in 2020?
  • How can you increase your self-care in 2020?

Love and blessings to you all for a memorable, adventurous, loving, challenging and peaceful year ahead!

Take care on the Journey!

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Keeping it simple this silly season!

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You don’t have to make things more complicated than they are.

It’s only 5 weeks until Christmas and this time of year often comes with more social gatherings than normal. Social gatherings can ignite the disease of “keeping up with the Joneses”. Going to a social event can be stressful especially if you have been asked to bring something.

  • “Can you bring that awesome cheesecake you made last year?” (In your mind you’re thinking, ‘Really!? That cheesecake… the one that takes 2 days to make?! – I haven’t got time for that!’)
  • “You’ll be OK to provide some delicious snacks won’t you?” (‘Delicious?… I know what that means? That means I have to slave over the stove for days making sure I have something for everyone! Dairy free, gluten free, sugar free, nut free…. but make sure it’ll be delicious!‘)

(I’m not sure if you can “hear” this in your own mind as you read, but these kinds of things bring stress to my life… but why?…. For me, it’s all about what my self-talk is… My self-talk is often all about making sure I’m keeping people happy… I think I have to provide the best food possible and that invokes anxiety in me and I think I have to do it the same way as “Mrs Jones”…

But you know what?… I don’t. 

This is where increasing self-compassion is so important. I need to choose to be kind to myself, to let myself off the hook and keep it simple.

I can arrive at this social event with the best chocolate Tim Tams ever or a few packets of chips I picked up on the way! I don’t need to be in the kitchen for 2 days before, preparing the food that I think everyone will want, when I’m sure they just want to catch up and spend time together… 

It’s in these moments that we need to dig deep and show up in our authenticity and be present with those around us.

Here’s your reminder to keep it simple.

Have a think about what events you have coming up where you can remind yourself to keep it simple? What food do you enjoy cooking or are the easiest things to take to social gatherings and make them your go-to contribution for all the events. Or even more, simply buy something to take… and keep it simple.

This time of year is often way more stressful than we need to make it and yet it seems to be our default.

Be kind to yourself. Keep it simple. Embrace this time of year and look for ways to slow down and be present with those around you.

You matter! Take care on the journey!

Want more of these tips for thriving in the silly season? Sign up to receive 6 Ways to Thrive this Silly Season, not just survive.

Image by vivienviv0 from Pixabay

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