Which comes first? Trust or Vulnerability

dw_lightquoteimages6What is Trust? The online Oxford Dictionary defines it as: “Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.” In Brené Brown’s book Rising Strong, she talks about the definition that Charles Feltman in his book The Thin Book of Trust gives to trust and I think it has a deeper meaning.

He defines trust as “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.”

Wow, now that’s deep. It resonates with me because when I share something with someone, I’m not sure what their reaction is going to be. If I’m wondering what their reaction will be then I’m taking a risk of what the other person may do, say or think…. And that’s vulnerable.

Which leads me to ask, what is vulnerability? Brené Brown is a vulnerability researcher and based on the thousands of conversations that she’s had with people, she has come up with the following definition of vulnerability:

“Uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure”.

To me, that’s very similar to Charles Feltman’s definition of trust.

In Brené Brown’s research, she discovered that in order to grow in trust with someone, you have to be vulnerable. And in order to be vulnerable with someone, you need to trust them. Therefore, you can’t have trust without vulnerability.

Trust and vulnerability go hand in hand. Our society has such a small view of trust and vulnerability. That’s why Brené Brown’s work has been life changing for me. Through her research and the conversations she’s had with people, she has been able to compile data which is much more real and data that we can connect with on a much more personal level.

This can leave questions such as:

How do I trust someone enough to be vulnerable with them?
What if I am vulnerable and the response is not what I hoped for?
How do I understand trust more fully?
I don’t do vulnerability, surely I can still trust someone?

At Journeez, we provide space for people to reflect, question and rumble with these topics. You are welcome on the journey and we invite you to contact us for more information about groups and one-on-one sessions in this area.

Take the Journey!

Journeez, Adelaide, are specialists in Self Care and learning to look after yourself in this fast-paced society. Please contact us today for further information about Self Care, Personal Development and Brené Brown workshops and seminars for businesses, churches or community groups or to book a counselling or coaching appointment. You are also welcome to join the Journeez community by subscribing to this blog or follow us on FacebookInstagram and LinkedIn. Choosing Courage, Vulnerability and Living Life to the Fullest.